TRUTH & ACCOUNTABILITY

images (1)

accountability
noun
the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.

truth
noun
the quality or state of being true.

How accountable are we for our spoken words, actions, and obsolete memories? I know that we (as humans) want to protect those we love, by watering down the truth, or sparing the whole truth, but are we caging who we really are by allowing this? Are we taking it into account that the truth should always be the correct choice, or are we merely hiding bits and pieces to make those around us feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Aren’t we freeing our minds by disheveling the truth? Well, if you ask my opinion, (and since this is MY blog), I have to be honest. I demand to know the truth…Not just the truth about what I am wearing, or how I look, I want raw, honesty about who I am as a person, what I do incorrectly at work, if  and when I hurt someone’s feelings, and how I shouldn’t or should have said something, and really, the list goes on. What happened to honesty, and taking accountability for duplicitous statements? I can’t and will not divulge information or opinions that are not genuine. In today’s society, we are so afraid of offending someone, or causing an uproar, by speaking the truth. It’s so sad that society has become more accustomed to burying the truth in the back of their brain, in an “old dusty box”, labeled “do not tell.” I find it sickening that when someone stands up for what they believe in, (despite the majority), that they are persecuted for taking this stance. Not every thought is positive, and not every memory is pleasant, but why are we not allowed to speak about them. That is what makes us who we are, and gives us motivation to become better. I urge you to be completely honest with yourself, and look at each negative situation that comes to mind. When you have made it to the back of your mind, and  “tossed the lid off of the dusty old box”, labeled “do not tell,” ask yourself, am I being completely honest with about the truth? Did I take accountability for my actions, words, and expressions? Doing so is not only liberating, it is a reality bitch smack in the face, which is necessary from time to time.  As I age, and my mind grows more mature, I find myself stating more right-minded facts, which is why I have little interaction with many people. I must live in truth, and take accountability for my words. In Doing so, I know more about who I am, and what I want out of life. I have also made a conscious choice to alienate certain negativity, and opposing people from my life. As difficult as it is to be honest, it’s even more demanding to be deceitful.

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TRUTH & ACCOUNTABILITY

images (1)

accountability
noun
the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.

truth
noun
the quality or state of being true.

How accountable are we for our spoken words, actions, and obsolete memories? I know that we (as humans) want to protect those we love, by watering down the truth, or sparing the whole truth, but are we caging who we really are by allowing this? Are we taking it into account that the truth should always be the correct choice, or are we merely hiding bits and pieces to make those around us feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Aren’t we freeing our minds by disheveling the truth? Well, if you ask my opinion, (and since this is MY blog), I have to be honest. I demand to know the truth…Not just the truth about what I am wearing, or how I look, I want raw, honesty about who I am as a person, what I do incorrectly at work, if  and when I hurt someone’s feelings, and how I shouldn’t or should have said something, and really, the list goes on. What happened to honesty, and taking accountability for duplicitous statements? I can’t and will not divulge information or opinions that are not genuine. In today’s society, we are so afraid of offending someone, or causing an uproar, by speaking the truth. It’s so sad that society has become more accustomed to burying the truth in the back of their brain, in an “old dusty box”, labeled “do not tell.” I find it sickening that when someone stands up for what they believe in, (despite the majority), that they are persecuted for taking this stance. Not every thought is positive, and not every memory is pleasant, but why are we not allowed to speak about them. That is what makes us who we are, and gives us motivation to become better. I urge you to be completely honest with yourself, and look at each negative situation that comes to mind. When you have made it to the back of your mind, and  “tossed the lid off of the dusty old box”, labeled “do not tell,” ask yourself, am I being completely honest with about the truth? Did I take accountability for my actions, words, and expressions? Doing so is not only liberating, it is a reality bitch smack in the face, which is necessary from time to time.  As I age, and my mind grows more mature, I find myself stating more right-minded facts, which is why I have little interaction with many people. I must live in truth, and take accountability for my words. In Doing so, I know more about who I am, and what I want out of life. I have also made a conscious choice to alienate certain negativity, and opposing people from my life. As difficult as it is to be honest, it’s even more demanding to be deceitful.

Allow me to Spill the contents of my Life…

So, this will be the 1st Blog I have ever written, and frankly, nothing about me seems interesting when I think about my life. I am writing this because I need to tell my story to the world…LOL, not really, I just want to clear my head, and unload some of my thoughts. I doubt anyone will read this or any of my other blogs, but I find it therapeutic to put my thoughts on screen, and I am doing this for myself.  So, if you do read this, thank you, and I hope I don’t find offend anyone….

A bit of info about myself: I am 29 years young, born 12/25/1984, currently living in Topeka, KS, with my 32 year old Iranian/British Husband, Reza. Things I love include: playing with makeup, hair styling techniques, fashion, SHOPPING, wine tasting, experimental cooking, British quips, studying Farsi, and Iranian culture, Eastenders (British series TV show), travelling, and writing.  I am happily in love (for the first time in my life), and can’t wait to see what life has in store for us both. I have parents that have been married for 30 years, despite the hardships they have faced (So Proud of them), and they continue to prove that anything is possible, when you love someone.

My school days are some of the best memories I can remember, or what I can remember from them. I was always fairly popular (so I think), and participated in many activities, ranging from: volleyball, track events, Student Council, Debate/Forensics, MADD,  I never had a “true” friend, I had many, many friends, who would I would now call “drifters,” because they drifted in and out of my life so quickly.

From High School to 2012, I basically attended to 2 colleges, (didn’t graduate from either one), worked several meaningless jobs, and had a TON OF FUN….I traveled back and forth to Florida, all over the Mid West, drank a lot of booze, met some amazing, and crazy characters, created some of the best memories, and I have stories to tell…that that are both humorous and scary.

In 2012, I remember saying to my Dad, “I think I am supposed to be alone forever, because no guy I date meets my standards. Do you think I am setting my standards too high.” My Dad replied, “Honey, when you stop looking, and put it in God’s hands (I am crying as I write this line), He will answer your prayers,  and send you exactly what you are looking for in a man. Stop looking, and let him find you.” Well, on November 22, 2012, and in the most un-traditional way, God worked his magic, and the Love of my Life, found me. I had created an account on Bearshare, and for those of you who don’t know what that is; Bearshare is a music downloading site, and also a Social Media site, where you can IM (Instant Message) people who share similar music interest as you. I received so many IM’s from men, that I contemplated closing my page, because I was there only to download music, and videos(ya know, normal stuff).  One evening, a young man IM’d me, and said “I think you are stunning gorgeous.” I was like “yea, ok,” quickly thanked him, and closed the chat box. He then asked me what kind of music I liked, and what I was doing on Bearshare.  I instantly felt a level of comfort with him, for some reason, so we exchanged a few messages, and them he deleted me…LOL. A couple days later, he sent me another IM, and he said that he noticed I had a lot of male followers, and he isn’t the type of guy to step on another man’s toes. So, instantly, I knew he was a gentleman. I closed my Bearshare account, and we became friends on Facebook. Talking to this man began to change my life…I would run home after work (I lived in walking distance from my job), to speak to him, and we video chatted from November 25th, 2012, to May 3, 2013 (the date he came to America) every single day for several hours. From December 31, 2012 – May 3, 2013 I lost 50lbs. I ate healthy, exercised, because I devoted all of that time to bettering myself. I had never met someone so positive, who gave me uplifting comments/advice and supported my decisions, told me I was beautiful, and worthy of so much more than I was giving myself. Although, he loved me as I was, I wanted to be perfect for him, so I decided to get healthy. We grew so close so quickly,  and he decided to take a HUGE step, and visit me. When he arrived at the Kansas City airport, my heart was beating 1,000 beats per minute, as the anticipation built up to see him. When we saw one another, we ran towards each other, and kissed. He took my hand, and said, “Finally, I have met my Love.” Dear God, is this really happening? From May-July 2013, we were inseparable, and he proposed on the 4th of July. It was a strange proposal, because I initially  brought up marriage, and we just agreed together that we wanted to become husband and wife. On July 13, 2013 we had a very intimate wedding at the court house. It wasn’t my dream wedding (we are going to have a traditional wedding with his family, in London), but we had a beautiful reception several months later. Let me tell you about my husband…He is the most compassionate, tender heart, generous, motivating, positive and chivalrous man I have ever met. He confirms his love for me throughout the day, and I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming. Never has he yelled at me, or talked down to me. He is constantly uplifting, and positive. Everyone who meets this man, is genuinely interested in everything he has to say, and just falls in love with his demeanor. My love has lived in London, England for 25 years, and prior to that he lived in Switzerland for 5 years. He is Persian/Iranian, speaks 3 languages fluently, and has the most beautiful heart of anyone I have every encountered.

My (Our) future plans include travelling, and a Major relocation to London, England. Yes folks, I am trading in big SUV’s, wide roads, fast food, and drive up ATM’s for rainy weather, narrow roads, fish & chips, and un-affordable real estate. In 2016, we will have all immigration paper work sorted, and fees will be paid; that’s when we will make our move. We have planned to visit Scotland,  Champs-Élysées, Paris (which is one of my husband’s favorite vacation destinations),  Tuscany, Italy, Munich Austria, Switzerland, and everywhere in between. I will also be travelling back and forth to Iran, since my Hubby is a property owner in Tehran (Beverly Hills of Iran). What an exciting life I am looking forward to. I plan to drop all of the weight I have gained back, and then some, save as much money as we can, and spend as much time with my family as possible throughout our last days in America. These next 2 years will prove to be difficult, but I am so fortunate to have a supportive spouse, who will sacrifice anything for my happiness. Thank you so much for reading, and please stay tuned, because I have so much more to say. You have my promise that the next blog I post will be much more entertaining. I just wanted you to know a bit about me, and who I am.